Consumed

I had to write today. I feel like I am consumed with this journey. I wish I could focus on something else, anything else. I have to force myself to work. The weekends and evenings are much easier because I have my family there to focus on. At work it is much easier for my mind to wander.

I tested this morning. I know, I've been here before and knew it would be negative but there is a slim chance. I want this so bad it hurts. This is really the ultimate test of patience and learning to let God handle things that you have no control over.

My mom is in town and a great distraction! We are going to the beach for my birthday, which will be awesome. I can't wait to get away. I'm hoping for another wonderful birthday present and hope that I can have a good time even if the test is negative. I'm thinking I will.