21w 3d

There is not much new to report but I thought I would check in. Most days I feel pretty good but there are some, today is one, where I'm not feeling that well. I'm not sure if anything triggers it. I don't think so and I have heard where some women are ok for a few weeks and then in the middle late part of the pregnancy they begin to feel sick again. Blech.

Jack is really liking the idea of a little brother. Yesterday he told me and Eric that Daddy, Mommy, Baby Brother and Jack would make a good team. :) I swear, he melts my heart on a daily basis. He's also telling people that the baby will cry a lot and that he's going to rock it and feed it. I'm trying to get him to understand that babies cry and that is their way of communicating. I want him to be as prepared as he can be.

That's about it. I have a routine appointment on December 9th and will get another ultrasound around the second week of January to check the growth. I'm feeling the little guy daily but it's still not strong enough for Eric to feel. The picture I've posted is from 21 weeks.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Well, I just couldn't do it. 18w6d

I thought I could wait to find out what we're having but I just couldn't! Eric and I went in, I gave the tech the card and told her what we were planning. Toward the end of the ultrasound, she told me she was getting ready to measure the legs so I might see something if I looked. I didn't turn away and I really thought I saw something. At the very end I said, ok, we want to know! She asked me what I thought it was and I said boy. She said you're right! Yay! We're having another sweet boy! I was hoping for another boy like Jack. I know all kids are different but it's going to be so great for him to have a little brother.

We got to see the baby yawn, play with the umbilical cord and bounce around. It is such a neat experience. I could feel the baby while she was doing the scan. Everything looked perfect and the baby is measuring 3 days ahead, which is totally normal. The pictures we have aren't that great but I'll try to post some. The heart rate was 154. I was kind of starting to think it was going to be a girl.

I go back in on December 9 for a routine checkup at 22weeks then I go in at 26 weeks for the diabetes testing, and I'll get another ultrasound at 28 weeks to check on the growth. Things are really moving fast now!

Eric and I went over to his grandma's house to tell them and Jack. We told Jack alone and he just looked at us when we said he was going to have a little brother but when we asked if he was excited he said yes! The we wanted him to tell everyone else. He wouldn't do it for a few minutes but then told everyone he was going to have a little brother! I think he's excited. :)

This 11/11/11 is turning out to be a pretty great day.

Exciting Week! 18w 5d

Tomorrow Eric and I will have the anatomy scan where they will look at all of the baby's body parts and tell us if everything is fine. Normally, people also find out the gender. I'm wondering if we're going to see something that gives us a clue. I wouldn't be too upset if that happened. :)

I am also feeling the baby now. I've been feeling what I thought was the baby for a few weeks but it's only one bump and then nothing for days. Now, consistently, I feel him/her after dinner when I'm sitting on the couch. What reminded me that I needed to do this entry was feeling the baby while sitting at my desk. It is really the coolest and most surreal thing ever. There is a life in there! It still blows my mind.

Jack has made up his mind that he wants a girl and he wants to name her Princess. That comes from one of his favorite cartoons. :) I don't think he'll be too disappointed if it is a boy though. He's been rocking his baby doll and feeding it, etc so he'll be ready for the baby. I think he is so excited! I hope it stays that was once he/she is here. I'm still thinking boy but now I'm not 95% certain like I was before.

Aggg! I can't wait for our appointment tomorrow. I'll have some pictures and will scan them as soon as I can.

17w 3day Appointment

I went into this appointment thinking that I probably hadn't gained much weight because I really haven't been eating much more than I normally do. I really haven't been all that hungry. I was very wrong. I gained 6 pounds in ONE month! I just don't know what to say. The doctor said it was ok but that he didn't want me to gain 6 pounds every month. I'm hoping it was my breakfast bar and coffee (decaf) that I had before the appointment. I'm trying not to worry about it but have started watching what I eat.

The baby's heartbeat was strong and around 152. All is well. Next week we'll have the anatomy scan and I can't wait to see the baby again! We debated taking Jack with us but I think we'll leave him at his Nan's house. The appointment could be 30 minutes or more and I don't think he'll sit there that long.

I talked to the doctor about being induced or not and it doesn't look like I'll have much of a choice. Contrary to what my hematologist says, they do not what me on blood thinners when I give birth because that increases the chances of bleeding more. Hopefully we can just wait as long as possible before they induce. I know it will be within a week of the due date, so anywhere between March 31 and April 7. Last time they induced with Jack and I had not progressed at all. The doctor was afraid they would have to give me another round of pitocin. I don't want that to happen again.

Ok, pic of me at 17 weeks. I'll let you know how it goes next week!

Eventful week

What a week we had last week. I was home with Jack while Eric's parent re-cooperated from an upper respiratory cold. I was with him Monday - Thursday am. It was so nice being there with him and I was able to get some work done while he played. Tuesday night we were up from 2-5am because he had a bad dream (I think) and then we were up just as long Wed night/Thurs am.

Jack was starting to get stuffy and had a runny nose. I thought it was the flu mist he got Tuesday afternoon. Turns out it was a respiratory virus that he picked up somewhere. Wed night around 1:45 am, he woke up crying and coughing and had a hard time breathing. Eric and I tried to run a hot shower thinking the steam would help his breathing but Jack was too upset and would not calm down to allow it to work. He kept telling me that he needed medicine and that his throat was hurting. I gave him water and noticed he was shaking. At that moment I told Eric that we needed to get to a hospital. It was the longest ride of my life. Jack was struggling, crying, coughing, and very upset. We finally get to the ER and the triage nurse said he had croup. This is something Eric knows about well. He and both of his parents suffered with this when they were children.

Once we got into a room, the staff gave him a breathing treatment, which opened up Jack's airway and he was able to breath within a few minutes. His O2 was 93 so they decided to give him steroids to open things up a little faster. Once Jack could breath easily again, he was so happy and chatty. The doctors observed him until 4:45am and we went home. Jack was asleep before we hit the highway. We were told that croup is caused by a respiratory virus and because children have small airways anyway, the irritation and swelling in that area can cause difficulty breathing. Cold air can help open things up so we'll try that should this happen again. It was such a scary thing to go through and to see your child in panic is worse. He is now suffering through the cold but doing much better. We were both up by 8:30am and other than an occasional cough, you couldn't tell anything happened. Jack was his happy self.

Sunday we decorated pumpkins and they turned out pretty well. Tonight we will trick-or-treat by visiting family in the area. I can't see Jack going up to a strangers house and I think he'll like seeing people he knows. He is going to dress-up as a Carolina Panther. Pictures to come!

The baby is doing well. I think I felt movement over the weekend but can't be sure. I didn't feel it again so it could have been something else. I have an appointment tomorrow that should be uneventful. I will talk to the doctor about not inducing. We'll see what he says. I also have my hematologist appointment on Thursday. He will just test my blood levels and I will likely not have to see him again until Feb or so. At the hospital Jack said he thinks we will have a girl with pretty hair. :) We'll know soon enough.

I think the morning sickness is gone! 15w2d

I woke up on Saturday with NO SICKNESS! None! It just hit me while I was making breakfast, that I felt normal, and I felt pretty great all day. Sunday rolls around and I still felt pretty good! Here we are on Monday and I think I might be cured. :) It was 15 weeks on the dot last Saturday.

Jack and I also listened to the heartbeat on Saturday and it was 151...still thinking it's a boy. So the only things that are still sticking around are feelings of being tired even after 9 hours of sleep and this bad taste in my mouth ALL THE TIME. This is definitely pregnancy related. I didn't have it with Jack but it started soon after I got pregnant with #2. Yuck!

Next week I go in for my 16 week appointment. It will be pretty routine but one step closer to seeing my baby again on November 11!

Not feeling exactly like I thought I would be

Throwing up in the car, on the way to work is not exactly how I thought I would be feeling at 14w4d. Fortunately I had a grocery bag. I have been off of the prometrium for two weeks now and this week has been pretty bad. I was feeling much better by 13 1/2 weeks with Jack. Could this mean a girl? I stopped taking my B6/Unisom cocktail for the nausea because I WAS feeling better. It looks like I'm going to have to start taking that again. At least I know this will eventually end - I just hope it ends way sooner than delivery day.

Jack has names picked out: Sir Topham Hat if it is a boy and Sir Topham hat Girl if it is a girl :) For those not schooled in the Thomas the Train cartoon, Sir Topham Hat is the Director of the railway and Jack LOVES Thomas. He also likes the name, Jackson Leo Hudson, which he doesn't seem to mind sharing. :) Jack still seems excited. I told him we would have to get through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day, his birthday, and then the baby would come. He brought me a little heart sticker and said it's Valentine's Day! :) He is so sweet.

I think I might have felt the baby moving around. It's hard to tell and still so early but it's possible! The picture posted is me at 14 weeks.

NT Scan went great! 12w5d

We got to see our precious baby today! I can't believe how much it has grown in a week. :) I've posted pictures below of his/her hand and profile. We saw him moving around more and saw his hands in front if his face. The tests went great and there is a very slim chance of the baby having Down Syndrome or Trisomy 18, which is a chromosomal defect.

The tech also asked if we wanted to know the gender and I said no and then asked her if she could tell. She said oh yeah, it's pretty obvious. :) I'm thinking boy! The heart rate is 157. I would love another sweet boy.

Eric and I also told Jack last night. He was so cute. I stuck out my belly and said do you see my belly? What do you think is in there? He said, Jackson Leo Hudson! haha I said no, you're out here. Then we showed him the last ultrasound and I asked him what that was. He said, a baby. I said, do you think that baby is in here? He said yes! Then he asked where its mommy was :) I said I'm its mommy and this is its daddy and you are its big brother! He just got this big smile on his face. :) Then we were talking about what he was going to teach the baby and how he was going to help. He's so sweet. Then he changed the subject and played with his trains. :)

So, all looks well! My next appointment is October 27 and then the anatomy scan is November 11.

NT Scan 11w6d

Last Friday I had my NT Scan, which is where the ultrasound tech looks at the baby to see if there are any signs of Down Syndrome. They measure the thickness of the skin on the neck and then they look at the nose bone. Eric wasn't able to come because he had a test, which was a bummer for both of us.

So, I go in for the ultrasound and see that the baby is directly on its head! I mean completely upside down! He (I say he b/c it's just easier) was upside down with his neck against me and looking away. We tried everything to get him to move. We pushed on my belly, I walked, jumped and wiggled around but nothing. Even after all that there was no movement! He was still in the same position. I did see him move a leg and squirm a bit but that's it. I guess he was perfectly

comfy where he was. I did get a few pictures. They aren't that great but I'll post one profile picture below.

So, because they couldn't get the measurements, I get to go back Thursday to try again. And the best part is that Eric gets to come with me! So, more pictures to come.

First OB appointment 11w3d

I finally had my first ob appointment at 11 weeks 3 days. After waiting for an hour in the waiting room, I finally saw the doctor. We just went over the normal stuff. They like to induce around 39 weeks instead of 38 like they did last time. That is fine with me because I want this baby to stay in there as long as possible. That will put me at April 1. That will help with planning Jack's birthday party and I'll be able to pull that off before the baby comes.

First the nurse listened for the heartbeat and she found it pretty quickly. It was 164, which is higher than what Jack's was at this same time. His was 155. I still think it will be a boy, which I will love. :) I am going back on Friday for the ultrasound and am really looking forward to it. I can't wait to see how much the baby has grown. I'll post pictures as soon as I can.

We haven 't told Jack the news yet but have been talking about babies in general. The other day we asked him if he would like to have a baby in the house and he said yeah. We also asked if he would like a girl or a boy and he said girl. (that changes frequently.) He said he would let the baby sleep in his crib and play with his toys. I can't wait to tell him that he will be a big brother. I think we're going to wait as long as we can...maybe once we find out the gender or until he asks why I'm so big. He hasn't said anything so far. He will be such a wonderful big brother.

My morning sickness seems to be improving. I can stop taking the prometrium on Sunday, which should help with the nausea. I feel sickest at night instead of all day. I see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Hearing the Heart beat 10w 4d

I'm not as good this time around at blogging. You are much busier with toddler and I guess that's why. I pulled out my doppler to see if I could hear the baby's heart beat. When they looked at the doctor's office they pushed hard and looked low so that's what I did. Low and behold I found it! It took me a few minutes but I heard it beating at 169 bpms. It brought the biggest smile to our faces. I've tried a couple of times since then and haven't had as much success. I think I hear 2-3 beats and then it's gone. The baby must be moving around a lot in there. Plus I am so much bigger at night and bloated and that doesn't help. I did hear it Saturday morning so I was happy.

Tomorrow I have my first OB appointment and they will listen for the heart beat there. Friday we have the NT scan (ultrasound) and I can't wait! Here I am at 11 weeks.

Feeling GREAT today! 9w5d

I don't want to jinx myself but I am feeling better than I have in 5 weeks! Yesterday was bad. I actually threw up in my office but today is great. I really hope this is a preview of things to come but with Jack I was sick up until 13 1/2 weeks. Here's hoping for better days!

Needed a little reasurrance

Today I went in for my health educator appointment. I know what you might be thinking, "I thought that was last week?" Well it was and when I went in last Thursday for the appointment, I was told I missed it and that it was the day before. What?! How did I mix that up? So then I asked if it could be the same day as my ob appointment on Sept 7? Oh, well because you did not come in for the health ed. appointment, they cancelled your ob appointment. What?!! Apparently you have to have you health ed appointment first. UGH. The next time they could get me in is September 20 - Almost three weeks away.

So, back to today. I was able to reschedule my health ed appointment for today. There they went over my responsibility and the insurance responsibility and then medical history. Today I've been feeling a little uneasy about how the pregnancy was progressing. Not for any real reason except that I'm feeling somewhat better today. I guess that instead of enjoying it, I worry. It's who I am! So I remembered a nurse telling me that if I ever wanted to come in for a heartbeat check I could for free. So, I asked for that today.

I was taken back to an exam room and the nurse started off by warning me that they usually don't do this until 10 weeks because it's possible that they won't be able to find it. Well I remembered that they were able to find it with Jack at 9w3d. After a few minutes she couldn't find it and went to grab someone else. This person was able to find the beautiful sound in about 2 minutes. I was praying so hard! The heartbeat was 170 and strong. Whew! I feel so relieved. Now I can wait the next few weeks for my ob appointment. So happy :)

Cannot get enough! 8w3d

Subway that is. I am totally craving the oven roasted chicken sub from Subway with LOTS of pickled banana peppers. I had it yesterday for lunch and again today. Eric said he would go pick one up for me last night at 9pm but I just didn't have the heart. So, I settled for crackers and cheese with a pickled jalapeño on top. Sooooo good! I also had 2 pickles. I feel like such a cliche but it was really what I wanted.

I'm feeling ok today. I was really sick yesterday until about 2pm so I'm glad that didn't repeat itself. It is getting harder and harder to hide my bump so if people find out, I guess it's ok. I don't have a lot of baggy clothes and don't want to by them just to hide this.

I have my health educator appointment Thursday and then my appointment with the doctor the following Wednesday.

Here I am at 8 weeks!

I am so relieved!

Eric and I went to my first ultrasound yesterday to see the baby. I was more nervous than ever! I thought for sure I was going to puke and it wasn't because of the morning sickness. I just couldn't bare another problem. As soon as the tech started, I could tell that the baby was bigger than last time and then I could see the precious heartbeat! I was so happy but not completely relieved until she told me that the heart rate was 160 beats per minute. Praise the Lord! That is a strong heart rate and while we are not completely out of the woods, our chance for miscarriage drops significantly. That rate is actually what Jack's was at around 9 weeks. Maybe another boy?

I go back in one week for my health educator appointment and then again on September 7 to see if they can hear the heartbeat on the doppler. Then I go back at 12 weeks for my regular scheduled appointments. I think at that time we will tell Jack. I can't wait! I've posted a picture below. What a cute little jelly bean!

Oh my goodness...so sick

Wow, I was praying I would get morning sickness and it is as bad or worse as it was with Jack! I can't believe I have another 6-7 weeks of this. My appointment on Monday will help remind me that all of this is worth it when I can see that heartbeat.

All I want to do is lay down and sleep! The only time I'm not sick is when I'm sleeping or eating. You would think I would be eating all the time but everything sounds sickening so it's hard to find something to eat.

I'm praying that all of this means a healthy baby is growing in there! Lord knows I didn't feel like this with the last pregnancy.

Wow what an amazing month!

I am such a terrible blogger! I have been so busy for the last three weeks that I haven't had the time to blog. I was on vacation August 1 - 10 and then so busy catching up at work. We had a great time on vacation at Emerald Isle that I hated to see it end. We spent the first few days with my mom, brother and sister-in-law and then met Eric's family to close out the week.

The biggest news is that I'M PREGNANT! I still can't believe it's true! How have we been so blessed! I found out on July 27th but the line was so super faint that I didn't tell Eric or my mom (she was in town at the time.) The next day I tested again and sure enough, the line was there! So almost 2 months after our miscarriage we have the opportunity to become parents again. God is good!

I waited to call the doctor until August 1 because I didn't want to go in too early. I went in for blood work and my beta was 153. The nurse said that was a good number and that I would need to repeat the test in 2 days. Well, since I was leaving for vacation the next day, I wasn't able to do that. I was fine with it. Those tests are only for reassurance anyway. The did put be on Progesterone supplements just to be on the safe side. I went back in when I got back from the beach and my numbers were 9659, which was great. I was a little worried because had I not taken a test, I would never have known I was pregnant. I felt no different whatsoever, until 5 weeks hit. Then the morning sickness began and it hasn't let up.

The sickness is very different from last time so I'm hoping that is a good sign. I asked for a prescription of Zofran yesterday, which helps some. The insurance will only cover 26 pills per

month (What??!) so I'm trying not to take them unless I really can't take it.

Today I am 6 weeks 2 days and am looking forward to my ultrasound on August 22. I will be 7w1d then and we should see a heartbeat. The nurse said they wanted to bring me in around 6 weeks but I asked them to push that out some. I didn't want there to be any uncertainty this time around.

I am due on April 8th (Easter Sunday!), which is going to be very close to Jack's birthday. That should be interesting :) I've posted some pictures below of my tests. The first one is the second test and next to it is the third. Light right?

Here we go again! :)

Consumed

I had to write today. I feel like I am consumed with this journey. I wish I could focus on something else, anything else. I have to force myself to work. The weekends and evenings are much easier because I have my family there to focus on. At work it is much easier for my mind to wander.

I tested this morning. I know, I've been here before and knew it would be negative but there is a slim chance. I want this so bad it hurts. This is really the ultimate test of patience and learning to let God handle things that you have no control over.

My mom is in town and a great distraction! We are going to the beach for my birthday, which will be awesome. I can't wait to get away. I'm hoping for another wonderful birthday present and hope that I can have a good time even if the test is negative. I'm thinking I will.

I am crazy

I'm just going to go ahead and throw that out there so you all know that I know I am crazy. I am 2 days into my 2ww (2 week wait) and I am already feeling the obsessiveness start to take over. I feel like I've been through a lot over the last two months, yet I feel like I was just here!

I really hope I get another wonderful birthday present like I did when I found out about Jack on July 31, 2008. My mom is coming to visit on July 25th so that will be a great distraction. If I am pregnant, the due date and Jack's birthday could be less than a week apart. Yikes!

Ok, cart before the horse here.

Finally Back to Normal! (For real!)

I had my last blood draw last Friday (July 15). My beta (hcg, hormone level) was 2.2 and the nurse said I am basically normal. Yay! It took 6 weeks but I am finally done and back to normal. I feel like I can move on now and that is what I intend to do!

Stay tuned for more updates...hopefully more positive ones :)

To start off the holiday weekend, I visited by good friends at the doctor’s office to have more blood work done. My hcg is down to 22, which is great! Hopefully this next appointment on the 15^th will be the last. It really takes forever for this hormone to go away.

The Fourth of July weekend was really great. Saturday we participated in a community yard sale and did pretty well. I was surprised! Sunday after church and lunch, Jack and I went to a cookout at Grace’s parent’s house and had a great time. Jack loved going in and out of the window to get to the screened-in porch. J He did that A LOT. Monday we went to the Kernersville 4^th of July parade with some friends and at the end of the parade Jack saw THOMAS! He was so excited. J Then after that we went to Uncle Pete and Aunt Brenda’s house for a family cookout. Jack loved going down the pool slide and fishing.

All in all, the weekend could only have been better if Eric could have joined us. He has his last CPA exam tomorrow and had to spend the weekend studying L

Things are looking up

Yesterday I had my second blood draw to test my hcg level to make sure it is still coming down. I was hoping that it would be at least half of what it was last week but not ever believing that it would be (It was 1039 last week). The nurse called me back and said I had a very good drop and now I was at 192!! Holy moly! That is fantastic! So now I go back July 1 to check it again and hopefully it will be 0. :)

We had a great father's day last week. Saturday dad played golf with Eric, Patrick and Victoria while Jack and I visited my very best friend for her birthday. We all met back in Burlington for dinner and then back to Pat's to visit. It was nice to be together. Sunday Eric got a card and magnet from Jack, which had a picture of the two of them on it. Then we made our way to church and to lunch afterwards. It was a great day. Jack played with his favorite cousin for a few hours and then crashed on the way home. I had to wake him up at 5:30pm!

So all in all it was a great weekend. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!

Results of the blood draw

Yesterday I went to the doctor to have my blood drawn to make sure my hcg was going down. I found out it was 1039 so I have to go back next Monday to check it again. I need for it to be <5. They check that because if it doesn't go down then that could mean that there is still something left over that can cause infection.

I'm feeling pretty good. Back to normal, I think. I just want to get this whole thing behind me.

Hormones are no joke!

Wow, the fast reduction in pregnancy hormones is no joke! I was a mess yesterday but am feeling much better today. I can't believe it has been a week since we found out. Fortunately time is moving quickly. Thank you for all the prayers and I hope you will continue to pray for us.

Feeling down today

I'm not sure why today is harder than other days. Maybe it is the announcement that a co-worker had her baby last night or perhaps the announcement that another friend is pregnant. While I am happy for them, it is a reminder of what we lost.

I keep remembering the ultrasound when we saw the baby's heartbeat. I wish I could go back to that day and appreciate the miracle that moment was. Knowing the outcome, Eric and I were fortunate to have seen it because soon after, the heart stopped. At the time of the ultrasound, I knew something was wrong because the baby wasn't growing as it should and the heartbeat was not as fast as it should have been and that was all I could focus on. Eric was happy because it was his understanding that once you see a heartbeat, the risk of miscarrying goes down to 5%. I wish I could have soaked in that moment a little longer without the sadness and worry. Because we saw the heartbeat, the tech gave us the ultrasound photo and that is something I will keep and treasure.

This whole process is so heartbreaking and unfair. I know we should not question God's plan and I know this is for the best but it still hurts. It is a comfort to know that our two angels are in heaven playing together and looking forward to the day when they will have the chance to meet their mommy and daddy. I can't wait for that day either.

God is Good!

Going into the weekend, I was very nervous about what would happen when I miscarried. I was armed with pain killers and ready whenever the pain would begin. Saturday Jack and I played at the park and took a nap together and played in the sprinkler. It was a pretty good day. I was feeling some discomfort but nothing too bad. We had dinner and I was hurting a little bit more and took one pain pill. I was getting very nervous at this point. Eric and I played old Nintendo games and had a good night (Not the best anniversary but it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting it to be). By the time we went to bed, the worst was over. I could not believe it. The pain was not even a tenth of what it was the first time. I was praising God! He has really answered my prayers and carried me through this process. Eric and I were both amazed.

This morning (Monday) I had an ultrasound and saw the doctor. He said everything was great and there was no reason why we could try again in a month. He did tell me that they will start me on progesterone supplements to be safe and test me for some obscure things that could cause a problem. He said that because I had Jack in between two miscarriages, I was not at a higher risk for another.

I think I am going to keep this blog for the next baby. It will remind me of the peace I’ve been given and the lessons I’ve learned going through this process. Even though God did not answer the prayers to save my baby, I know that he has something even better in store for my family and I am looking forward to the future.

Another Angel Baby in Heaven

Wednesday, June 1, I started spotting and called the Doctor. I knew the news would not be good. This is exactly what happened with the first pregnancy at exactly the same time. They didn’t call back so I decided to pick up Eric and go to the office in case they could fit me in. There was no way I would wait until the next day. I talked to the receptionist and they fit me in for an ultrasound at the end of the day.

We go into the room and the ultrasound tech begins. We can see the baby but no heartbeat can be found. After she takes some measurements (baby measures 6weeks) and we are finished, she takes us into a room to wait for the doctor. At this point, I have prepared myself for this moment and am not as devastated as I was the first time. I can’t explain it except to say that God granted me and Eric peace that only he can give. We know that there was something wrong with this baby and we will have to wait a little while before we can meet him/her. I now know what to expect and I know that having another baby is possible. After all Jack was the result of a miscarriage.

The doctor says we can try again right away so hopefully in a few months we will start another journey. For now, I am thankful for the beautiful son I have and amazing husband that loves me. We will celebrate our 6^th wedding anniversary on Saturday and he has been my rock over the last six years. I am truly blessed.

Prayers Needed

I actually wasn’t too nervous going into the appointment yesterday. I’ve been feeling nauseated, super tired, very hungry, and all seemed well. The tech began the ultrasound and after a few seconds we saw our little baby. I wasn’t able to see a strong flicker of the heart like I could with Jack but I did see something. The tech told us there was a flicker and the heartbeat measured at 100bpm. When she measured the baby, it was only measuring 6weeks 1day. In 2 weeks time, it only grew one week in size. I felt like our nightmare in 2008 was happening again. What are the chances that we could miscarry again?!

I asked the tech if 100 was good and she said it could have just started beating and that I’ll probably have to come in again to have it checked. We were given a picture of our baby and Eric and I headed to the red chairs to wait for Dr. Taavon. Soon we were called into his office. He told us that anything under 100 was low for a fetal heartbeat and that he would like for us to come in next Thursday for a follow-up ultrasound to make sure everything was ok. He said he is not as concerned with the size of the baby because ultrasounds can be off by 3-5 days, which is why he wants to check the heartbeat again. He also said there is cause for concern but not alarm. One thing that makes me feel a bit better is that Jack’s heartbeat at 6weeks 3days was 107 – not too far off.

Right now I am just sad and scared. I am trying to be positive but I just have this feeling that everything is not ok. I know that God has a plan and is in complete control and I need to give all of this to him. All I can do is pray and I ask those who might be reading this to pray for the baby – that the heartbeat increases and the growth speeds up, peace for me and Eric to trust in the Lord no matter what happens, and the strength to get through this.

Sick! 6w4d

Oh man, I should be careful what I wish for. I am sick! I took my first Zofran on Sunday after throwing up before church. This morning things are really iffy and I'm hoping it doesn't get worse. I am still super tired too. I took a 2-hour nap with Jack on Saturday and went to bed at my normal time of 10pm. Usually I have a hard time sleeping after a nap like that. And right now it is 9am and I feel like I could easily go back to bed a sleep for hours.

Yesterday I noticed that my t-shirt was tight around my stomach and I look down and see a belly! I know that there is no way this could be from the baby because it is the size of a sesame seed so it has to be bloat. Even still, my belly didn't poke out this far with Jack! I guess it's true that you show sooner with the second baby even if it is just bloating. I can't say I mind though. :)

I've posted a picture of me with Jack at 7 weeks and then me with #2 at 6 1/2. What a difference! I am in red pants with the Jack picture.